10 Ways the Recession Has
Hit Everyone Hard
Hit Everyone Hard
1. My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
2. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
3. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
4. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
5. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
6. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
7. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
8. A picture is now only worth 200 words.
9. When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
10. The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear.
Scientific Conversions
1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
7. 16.5 feet in theTwilight Zone = 1 Rod Sterling
8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
11. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone
14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
17. 52 cards = 1 decacards
18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton
19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen
20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
22. 10 rations = 1 decoration
23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
25. 4 nickels = 2 paradigms
26. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League
27. 100 Senators = Not 1 decision
~ B
Last week, several of my friends asked me if I believed that bin Laden was really dead. The questions weren't surprising, considering the mass of misinformation and conflicting accounts of bin Laden's death now emanating from the White House. It appears the question of bin Laden's demise was only settled after al Qaeda issued a statement confirming it.
What does it say about Obama's credibility when the pro-Arab al Jazeera media reports are given more credibility than our own president? Maybe that's why Columbia School of Journalism justawarded al Jazeera a journalism prize.
Another blooper: Obama stated that increased drilling will not solve our energy problems. Huh? Again, the media let this statement go unchallenged. (At least Sen. Vitter called him on it.)
Obama would like us to ignore the fact that his Energy Secretary, Steven Chu, stated in 2008 that he wants to "figure out how to boost the price of gasoline to the levels in Europe." Since then, gas priceshave doubled. Mission accomplished.
Despite the pain at the pump, Obama's energy dis-information campaign has been quite successful, with a new poll showing that only 9% of Americans believe that Obama is responsible for rising gas prices.
Tailoring the facts to reflect the most favorable interpretation is an accepted prerogative of the bully pulpit. Every president will of course, spin the news to a certain extent. This is not new. But under Obama, there appears to be a deliberate campaign by the White House and many segments of the government to blatantly deceive the American people. Consider our Department of Homeland Security:
Nancy Morgan is a columnist and news editor for conservative news site RightBias.com. She lives in South Carolina.

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